Recently, a middle-aged cyber bully named Lance Martin posted a comment on an online hate blog about my wife, Rebecca Baldwin and her family.
The comment seemed like inane bullying; he accused my wife of having a low IQ and her father of being somehow inferior because he works at a petrol station. Then for good measure he insinuated I was stupid as well.
Lance Martin’s latest bitter attack read in isolation seems like a pathetic comment from a sad and bitter man, attacking a whole family tastelessly.
Seen as part of his three-year record of obsessive cyber abuse of hundreds of people across the world who are part of the Universal Medicine community, the extent of his anti-social menace becomes apparent.
With his usual cowardice, his comment was posted using a pseudonym; a casual moniker used to post lies about people he knows little about. Lance Martin has spread himself across Esther Rockett’s blog sites occasionally using his own name ‘lance’ and saving his most vitriolic contributions to anonymous posts using pseudonyms such as ‘Lord of Form’ (and possibly a number more), and previously posting anonymously as ‘You know who’, ‘You know whose brother’ and ‘Concerned Partner’. Bloated with toadfish like self-importance he rants through his pseudonyms.
Yes, this man is in his 50’s and he actually comments as several different people, usually repeating the same subject matter across Esther Rockett’s blog sites with a less than innocent intention to suggest that more people agree with his malignancies than he actually has readers. His style is obvious and his attempts to hide behind pseudonyms laughable.
But the facts when looked at, without the deliberate shadows cast by jealousy and pompous posturing provided by Lance Martin look very, very different to the picture Lance Martin likes to paint for himself to hide behind.
So here for the record – no pseudonyms – is the truth from the ground. Here is a short history of how I, Simon Asquith musician, media educator, audio producer, lover of life, people and community came to know my gorgeous wife, Rebecca Baldwin, and the Baldwin family, a family I now call my own.
My first experience of the Baldwin family was working in a nightclub in Byron Bay.
My wife’s younger sister Sarah Baldwin and her cousin Jacqui McCoach were also working there.
Vodka and Red Bulls (the first of the plague of caffeine based energy drinks) were how you started the shift – and more often than not the work shift would end well and truly after the sun was up in a chemical induced haze. My life had been like that for some time. I think I worked with the two of them for about a year or so and spent many nights in their company and can’t ever really remember a conversation we shared or anything about who they actually were, because even though we were friends – we never actually really connected beyond a superficial and intoxicated level.
I remember meeting Rebecca Baldwin then as a punter over the bar but we didn’t really connect.
Five years or so later – I turned up to my first Universal Medicine Presentation on a Friday night at Ewingsdale Hall in my home town of Byron Bay. I had a mohawk and was wearing a pair of overalls – my standard attire. I had first heard Serge Benhayon present on a recording whilst on tour with a fellow musician. Soon after that I had sought out and experienced first hand the power and beauty of esoteric healing sessions. At that stage I was very much a solo act – hurt by the state of the world and isolated by choice (the “nicest guy you ever could meet” with a mohawk and overalls to say “don’t come too close”).
At that first Universal Medicine event there they were again – Jacqui McCoach and Sarah Baldwin. I hadn’t seen them for a few years. And they were different – Man, were they different.
Fast-forward two or so years and after being friends for a year seeing each other at Universal Medicine workshops and events, Rebecca and I started dating.
We walked, we talked… we hung out at the beach with our friends and did breakfast and dinner, movies, shopping with our friends and just the two of us – normal dating stuff.
She was like no one I had ever met and there was something different about how I felt about her.
At that point I was a professional touring musician who spent 6 months a year for the summer in Australia and 6 months in Europe for their summer. I was drifting, wandering and adventuring and if I am honest I would enjoy the company of women as friends and lovers – and I had relationships with some very strong, beautiful women who were deserving of much more – but I always had one foot out the door. If anything ever challenged me or made me feel uncomfortable it was always very easy to move on and find somewhere else to seek comfort from the loneliness I really felt, living this attractive-on-the-outside – but very isolated lifestyle. There was a pull to be with Rebecca that I had not felt before. There was something about her and our being together that was bigger and stronger than what I was used to.
Things started to change for me – and I found I needed to start looking at some of my behaviours if things were going to keep unfolding with her.
Some of these things I fought and struggled with, some were easy to let go of as I knew they were parts of my life that were not good for me. The mohawk went, as I felt more comfortable being just me without using a specific image to define who I was. I trusted her and trusted people more and more and the statement of the trademark overalls was no longer needed as a guard from the world or to try and stand out as different – a kind of ‘up yours’ to society.
I fought hard to hold onto some things about my lifestyle that I felt were integral to who I thought I was, and I would get angry and simply walk away, or point the finger of blame at Rebecca for her faults, with a stubborn arrogance used to avoid having to face that I may have something I needed to look at too.
3 months later, Rebecca, even though I knew she cared for me very much, broke up with me.
I was devastated.
She claimed for herself that even though she could see and love who I was on the inside, she would not accept anything less than Love. She would not settle for me living and treating her with anything less than Love and all that she deserved as a woman. And while she was not perfect – there were things for her to feel and evolve as well – she did not allow me to sit in the comfort and protection of hiding myself and not honoring myself, or her. She did not let me play the same games I used to play. She called me to something deeper.
I was especially hurt as for the most part I was the one who had done the breaking up in my past relationships – leaving before things got a chance to get too intimate or before there was any chance of me not ‘having the upper hand’ in the emotional side of the relationship.
I had two choices.
2. Have the courage to look at why I would always end up in the same place and react the same way (especially when a relationship was ready to go deeper), look at my stuff and deal with it.
Two years later Rebecca and I were friends again after a long period of us both dealing with our hurt and for me it was a period of strong self-reflection, and deep nurturing and healing of many things I had held onto for many years. In fact these things I had been holding onto for most of my life and had always affected my relationships. We began working together on a few projects and we were both really happy to be around each other though neither of us felt we would end up back together. As we spent more time together – we really just had to let go and get out of our own way for the magic that we now have as husband and wife to soar and let fly.
She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and with her support I have become the beautiful, warm, strong, caring, committed man I have always known I am and can be. The intimacy we share, the love between us and the commitment to support each other in all that we experience, leaves for dead any of the things I thought I needed to do or have to define who I was.
And all the trappings and illusions of the supposedly ‘free and glamorous lifestyle’ I was so heavily invested in – pale in comparison to the deeply loving, nurturing, and solid foundation I have waking up and being with this woman every day.
I have made the choices that Lance Martin did not.
I chose to deal with my stuff and commit to a relationship that continually calls me to do so.
I chose evolution.
I chose to be with a truly beautiful woman – and to do this you must make the choice to stop being a boy and become a man.
This Lone Wolf is now deeply loving, caring (and also impeccably dressed), naturally open and is part of the biggest family I have ever met. The love I share with my new sisters Sarah, Kyla, Jacqui, Heidi and Amelia brings tears to my eyes often. My Aunty, Mary Louise Myers is one serious Global Phenomenon and my Mother in Law and dear friend Kathleen Baldwin’s smile warms the world like no other.
The intimacy of the Love and care I have with my brothers Jonathan, Ray and Sam has restored my faith in how men can be with each other – back slapping, beer soaked footy talk long vanished – replaced with genuine affection, trust and a willingness to be honest and open with each other in support and care – and we are shining examples of that to the rest of the world.
My father in law and other brother Andy Baldwin – at the age when many men are looking at packing it all in to be left alone in front of the TV or down the pub because they are so tired from living the ideals of what a Man thinks he is supposed to be – has turned his life around to become a truly loving father with a sparkle in his eyes, and a rejuvenated and blossoming relationship. His experience and wisdom blesses this family and Bangalow when he works at the service station. Bringing a warmth and easy connection with everyone he meets, he pumps gas with the same solid, infectious groove that his bass lines hold in the band we play in together. Grooves that head straight to people’s inner heart and say ‘Look – here I am. Proof that it is never too late to make a change.’
He too has taken the time to stop – look at the choices he has made in his incredible life and how they have affected others and do something about it. This is the true test and courage of a man.
Xmas Day is huge – As are our regular family dinners. They are full and rich and my roast lamb side by side with Kathleen’s is spectacular.
Our gatherings are warm and affectionate and full of laughter and song. The biggest, warmest hugs and impromptu shoulder rubs are frequent at the dinner table as we work our way around to speak to everyone. Sure – we have issues and things need to be worked out – but they are done together and the love of each other never lets any personal dramas turn into anything more than an opportunity to get closer as friends and family.
Often I will sit back, take a moment for myself and observe the room at these gatherings with warm tears of appreciation in my eyes, to feel the joy and depth that I have chosen to be a part of and soaking in the love and laughter surrounding me and the warmth of how everyone is so naturally with each other – so far from the emotionally isolated person I was living the false ideal of cruising the Costa Brava or hanging out in the cafés, restaurants, galleries and bars of Berlin, Barcelona and Paris. I was friendly with so many around the world in fleeting glimpses but truly close to so, so few. Now I have deeply intimate and caring relationships with dozens of people – (25 even just at the family dinner table) – each and every one of them with an equally transformative story as mine.
My family ADORES Rebecca, and vice versa. They can see the changes in me and know the relationship we have, the way my life has changed and how much I have grown as their son and brother makes them very happy and we talk about it often. My Mum tells me how much she loves seeing us together, and where we are heading in our future.
So what can I say when I see the opposite of the truth about me and my family posted online? It is simple really.
Lance Martin, you can lie through your teeth all you like. But I get to love my life while you have to live with yours – I see you imprisoned by your own blame and ultimately disempowered by a debilitating jealousy with a seemingly endlessly flawed pursuit of revenge through hate blogging and failed government complaints. If that’s an ‘intelligence’ you champion, then yes mate, your IQ is off the Richter…
Compared to the choices you have made it’s quite obvious –
I’m the smartest guy in the room.
The Way of The Livingness is a choice to connect to what is inherently ours deep within. Serge Benhayon, The Benhayon Family, and all that Universal Medicine offers have been the catalyst, support and incredible inspiration for me to claim back a quality of life that I had given up on; even dreaming that it existed had dried up. And so, without them this would not have been possible. I am eternally grateful for the changes it has brought about in my life and celebrate my friendship, affection and love for each of them every day – Simon Asquith